The Good. The Bad. The Asinine.

Thank Crap for Media Watch

Honestly, it’s the best show on TV. In the twelve minutes it would take one of the real housewives of New York or Tittybong (or wherever they are these days) to force their botox-crippled face into a smile, Media Watch will have opened your eyes to all the self-serving, opportunistic, deceptive idiocy that the Australian media has to offer.

It… is… awesome.

Take this episode from June 27. It starts off fairly innocuously, with a story from the SMH website about a female tennis player undergoing a breast reduction, “much to the disappointment of her male fans”. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “OMFSM, that’s unbelievable!”. I couldn’t believe it either. A perfect opportunity to say that male tennis fans had lost “a set to love”… wasted.

We then move on to more important matters. Namely, the poker machine reforms proposed by independent Tasmanian MP Andrew Wilkie to mitigate the enormous social costs of problem gambling. “What problem gambling?”, you ask. The problem gambling that results in nearly 300,000 Australians losing an average of $12,000 per year. That’s $3.5bn, before you’ve even allowed for the flow-on impacts on divorce rates, mental health and domestic violence. It’s an enormous problem.

So is basic comprehension, apparently.

This is what Andrew Wilkie had to say in support of his proposed reforms:

The Productivity Commission … found that 40 per cent of the money through the poker machines comes from problem gamblers.

These are the actual words in the report he is referring to:

The share of total spending … by problem gamblers … was 41 per cent (with the range from the minimum to maximum being 22 to 60 per cent, and with 80 per cent of the estimates being between 27 and 54 per cent)
Gambling, volume 1, page 5.33

Seems like Mr Wilkie’s comprehension is just fine. Let’s see how the good people who run our clubs manage:

  • The proponent of this deal has said himself that revenue impact would be up to 40 per cent.
    – Peter Newell, President of Clubs Australia (Source)
  • [Andrew Wilkie admitted] this morning that his deal with the Prime Minister for a mandatory pre-commitment system will reduce club revenue by up to 40%…
    – Clubs Australia Press Release, 24th November, 2010
  • …if the new laws were introduced it could reduce the club’s revenue by 40 per cent.
    – Joe Kelly, Cowboys Leagues Club
  • We stand to lose 40 per cent of our revenue, and no business is sustainable with that degree of financial loss.
    – Larry Collins, City Bowling Club
  • Our revenue will drop 40 per cent and no business can take that.
    – Geoff Knight, South Sydney Juniors

No, no, no.

As pointed out by Media Watch, most people seem to have lost the two rather crucial words preceeding the 40 per cent figure – “up to”. And if that’s not bad enough, how’s this for a punchline?

Clubs Australia’s CEO Anthony Ball told the ABC’s Lateline that the revenue loss will come from “…casual gamblers like me”. If he’s right, then the Productivity Commission’s 40% figure is completely irrelevant.

BAM!

It’s also worth mentioning that:

  • The 40 per cent figure relates to gaming revenue, not total revenue. Unless, FSM-forbid, clubs have recently stopped selling poorly-assembled parmagiana and carafes of shitty reisling, the impact on total revenue will be much less than 40%.
  • Revenue aint profit. Yeah, sure… if all the problem gamblers stopped playing the pokies, your poker machine revenue would go down 40%. But so would your poker machine payouts.

Idiots.

And speaking of idiots, the final items come from Today Tonight, and can be summarised as follows:

    Miracle cure!

    Oi, government! Pay for my miracle cure!

    Haha, kidding… It might cause cancer.

    Umm… how about… welfare cheats!

    Look at all the mansions owned by welfare cheats!

    Haha, kidding… they’re all owned by rich Channel 7 employees.

Not a bad way to spend 12 minutes, eh?

Category: Asinine, Bad, Good, Media

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