The Good. The Bad. The Asinine.

Bless me reader, for I have sinned…

..it’s been two years since my last GBAV post.

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, a few years ago I decided to re-write the Bible. Book by book, chapter by chapter, and verse by verse, I would create the Good Bad Asinine Version (GBAV), just for you. However, being lazy, and having a short attention span – OMG that dog has a puffy tail! – and the Bible being as tediously repetitive as it is contradictory, I only made it as far as Genesis 6.

My fellow blogger Chris, however, is not lazy, has an annoyingly long attention span, and has been bugging me to get my ärse in gear for quite some time. So that’s what I’m going to do. Until I get distracted, of course, in which case Chris will probably just take over. Which, let’s face it, would be better for us all anyway.

In case you missed it, here is the story so far:

  1. Genesis 1, in which god makes everything, in the most boring way he could imagine.
  2. Genesis 2, in which god makes almost everything all over again but in a different order, and pretty much invents sexism.
  3. Genesis 3, in which Adam is embarrassed to be naked, even though he has the biggest penis in the world, and Eve fücks it all up for the rest of us.
  4. Genesis 4, in which humankind quickly gets over their fear of being naked, and decides to give incest and fratricide a try.
  5. Genesis 5, in which God makes his first spreadsheet.
  6. Genesis 6 Part 1, in which God shows that he can be a colossal prick, by deciding to kill everyone and everything on the planet. Except Noah and his family and the animals on the ark and whales and fish and seagulls and herpes.

Genesis 6 Part 2 will follow shortly.

Enjoy!

Category: GBAV, Genesis, Good

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